Sunday Morning Blogging (11/6)

Incompetent offenses “dominated” the LSU/Alabama game. That game was like watching two short school buses drag race with the engines on the buses only firing on three cylinders as the mongoloids on the bus played with matches to protest their cotton candy being taken away.

The end of Daylight Savings Time is the one weekend of the year I watch the NFL pregame shows. These guys lick the windows of the drag racing short buses. Accidental lobotomy risk is high watching these shows.

Steve Mariucci looks like he is trying to eat his way through a cocaine addiction. Speaking of cocaine addiction, Michael Irvin hasn’t aged well. He looks like a black Mr. Magoo.

Jimmy Johnson smoked a fish and gave it to his friends. Touching human interest stories like that is what sets Fox Sports apart from the rest.

Cold and rainy today at the bar. Good football weather to complement the upcoming pain. My fantasy season is at a pivotal point, and my team is red lining. I am sure to break things today.

I started Schaub againt the Browns today. He won’t disappoint. Long TD runs from backup running backs will though. 7-0 Texans. Comeback McCoy on deck. This could be the game in which the city of Cleveland finally turns against the Browns.

“Oh Santa! This jewelry means you’ll get some tonight.”

Alex Smith just got crushed. Glad I didn’t start him.

Browns fumble on first play from scrimmage. Hey, same game plan as last week.

Browns have scored the fewest points of any NFL team in the first quarter. How can that be? These are Holgrem’s Browns.

Schaub rushing TD. 14-0 Texans. McCoy has them right where he wants them.

Mark Sanchez throws a pick in the Red Zone. Remember when people thought USC quarterbacks would make good NFL QBs?

Cribbs with the big return, then he yanks a defenders’ fask mask.

Browns go right back to the running game for nothing. Later in the drive they pass on 3rd and one. Incomplete. Dawson with a 50 yrd FG. Moral victory.

Dolphins score a TD. Raul is glum.

Browns’ defense holds. The comeback begins in earnest now.

Julio Jones is back! My fantasy season could be saved.

Third and long, so McCoy throws short of the first down (again).

The Browns defense is going to be on the NFL Red Zone all morning.

21-3 Texans. Suddenly, the Browns’ playoff chances are in serious jeopardy.

Another Sanchez pick.

McCoy holds onto the ball too long, gets sacked, and is slow to get up. Maybe his mommy can his his boo-boo and make it better. Free Seneca Wallace.

Another McCoy incompletion. Why does Baby Jesus hate McCoy?

The dude on the Red Zone just called the Browns’ offense sluggish. Holy Understatement, Batman!

Colt McCoy is overmatched. Browns defense comes up with the pick.

3rd and fifteen and the Browns throw a screen. 4th down. McCoy converts, and there is much celebration in North Royalton. McCoy with the pick right before halftime — followed with a Browns’ personal foul. 24-3 at half. Angry mobs are forming in Painesville. The Perry Nuke plant could be in danger. Halftime Shots!

70 yards total offense for the Browns in the first half, and the first play of the second half is a loss. McCoy hold onto the ball too long on third down and is sacked. Bench his ass, Shurmer.

Foster is going apeshit. This would not be happening if Eric Mangini was coaching.

The Dolphins have a big enough lead that even they cannot blow.

As long as McCoy is in the game, the Browns are never out of the Luck sweepstakes. However, that victory of Seattle could loom large.

THe Bills are starting their second half swoon. Winter is coming to Buffalo.

My brother just almost lit my patio furniture on fire — in the rain. Two chairs now have serious scars.

McCoy sacked on third down before he had a chance to hold onto the ball for too long. Browns kick a FG to make it a three score game. Mr. Chuckles was almost run of town for doing that.

Dawson has 101 yards in combined FGs. I am pretty sure that is more yards than McCoy has passing.

30-6 Titans. Good thing the Browns kicked that FG.

The sun just came out while it is raining. The glare, the glare! I can’t see the rainbow!

TD McCoy to Cribbs. That drive was surgeon like — if the surgeons were drunk penguins. Two point conversion fails. The Red Zone just dismised McCoy’s work of art as a garbage time score, yet another black eye for Cleveland.

Alex Smith than has more fantasy points in my league than Schaub. You know why? Because the Browns’ defense is nails.

Texans show no mercy and convert on 4th and six. That will do it — get the team on the short bus, Shurmer.

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1 Comment

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One response to “Sunday Morning Blogging (11/6)

  1. Browns are now running 9th in the Suck for Luck sweepstakes. They may be the surprise contender.

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