Impotence

The 2011 Indians’ starting rotation was about as impotent as an old dude in an erectile dysfunction commercial before he popped his boner pill so he could nail his wife when the rain opened up on their barbecue. Popping a pill in hopes of getting lucky later is no way to go through life, just as trotting out a slew of replacement level pitchers to start a game is not a bright way to start a game. However, GM Chris Antonetti gave Manny Acta a handful of Cialis, and said, “Get us to the tubs in the sunset, Big Boy.”

Let’s take a look at the Wins Above Replacement the Indians received for their starters:

B-Ref Wins Above Replacement
Masterson — 4.0
Tomlin — 1.8
Carrasco — 0.5
Gomez — 0.2
White — 0.2
Jimenez — -0.4
Huff — -0.6
Talbot — -0.6
McCallister -0.6
Carmona — -1.5

Total — 3.0

Some of you might be thinking, “Dammit, J.P., not another acronym coupled with a hard on analogy. What the hell do those numbers mean? How about a little context here?”

Well, anything over 6.0 WAR for a season is usually ticket to the CY Young Award discussion. Masterson’s 4.0 WAR doesn’t even put him in the top ten in the AL this year, but it is very solid for a number two pitcher. Tomlin’s 1.8 WAR puts him right with Felipe Paulino and Luke Hochevar of the Royals. As a staff, the Indians starters rated dead last in the AL in WAR.

Here are the playoff teams*:

Rangers — 17.4
Yankees — 17.3
Rays — 15.3
Tigers — 14.0

* some estimations with players who were both reliever and starters

Here are the rest*:

A’s — 18.0
WSox — 15.5
Mariners — 12.8
Angels — 11.2
Red Sox — 10.7
Blue Jays — 10.0
Twins — 7.6
Royals — 4.8
O’s — 4.0

The Indians bullpen combined for 5.0 WAR, which illustrated just how limp dicked the Indians starting rotation was.

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1 Comment

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One response to “Impotence

  1. Hi. My name is Dan O’Dowd. How do you feel having been baldoed? Cleveland’s rotation is gaining reputation as being the L.A. Clippers of WAR. Glad I helped out. It’s okay dont bother to thank me.

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