Stumbling Home

The Cleveland Indians are now 4-8 in the month of September after the Texas Ranger smacked around the Tribe’ best starter, Justin Masterson, then put some put down some hurt on the Indians’ September call-ups in the bullpen. Asdrubal “Grumpy” Cabrera continued his brutal slump — if he were a horse, he’s have been destroyed by now. The eternal optimist, Manny Acta, continues to bat Cabrera in the three hole. “We’re toast,” snapped Acta after the game. “What difference does it make where I bat him? Why don’t you focus on that team that lost to the Bengals this weekend because they don’t know how to properly exit a defensive huddle?”

Carlos Santana passed Cabrera in OPS tonight after hitting a double and two home runs. “Is anyone really surprised?” asked Santana. “His OPS has dropped over 50 points since he accosted me in the dugout. The baseball gods are just. All Star, my ass.”

Meanwhile, Matt LaPorta said, “Hey, I am back! Where is my parade?”

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