Another Modest Proposal

Commissioner Bud Selig, who I am almost certain once ordered an unsuccessful hit on me back in the late 1990’s, is investigating the viability of a downtown stadium for the Dodgers. This is certainly just a dance step in the the Leverage Tango with Frank McCourt since a downtown baseball stadium is very unfeasible, but a BLU-82 Daisy Cutter strike would certainly improve the appearance of Dodger Stadium these days. Of course, the peaceniks and traditionalists would be all up in arms over this, but the architects of the new stadium in Chavez Ravine could line the place with trees to appease those groups. Throw in a roller coaster beyond center field, and everyone would be happy.

In fact, the entire melted asphalt area that on was the parking lot of Dodger Stadium should be turned into an amusement park with a tolerance theme, including rides commemorating the 1992 Rodney King riots and the Battle of Rio San Gabriel, which, of course, was the first gang war in Los Angeles. The amusement park should also include a great deal of high class hookers because hookers a really good time. I sure there is some Oppenheimer out there thinking, “Well, where will everyone park then?” MLB and the city of Los Angeles could finance a high speed monorail from the parking lot of the new NFL stadium downtown. They could give the monorail a clever moniker like “The Screw You, Disney! Express.”

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